Table of Contents[Hide][Show]
- Chaos Emeralds – Sonic Frontiers
- Literal God – Pokemon Legends: Arceus
- Belt – Fashion Police Squad
- Stun Baton – Callisto Protocol
- Dynamite – Cultic
- Cat Launcher – Postal Brain Damaged
- Dreadnaughts – Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate – Daemon Hunters
- Draupnir Spear – God Of War Ragnarok
- King Bible / Unholy Vespers – Vampire Survivors
- Every Weapon In Darktide – Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
Another year is about to come to a close. That means it’s time to wrap things up with a cheeky look back at all the swanky new things that we got to mess around with in the virtual space. What new head-bonking sticks have we got to swing around? Or dakka-fuelled leadbelcher?
Well, we’ve compiled a list of the 10 best NEW weapons that came to light in 2022, and boy, did we have some absolute bangers. Infinitely replicating spears, electrified cudgels, and guns so big – so loud – you will never look at traditional arsenals the same way again. Let’s get right down to it.
More End-Of-Year Content:
Hidden Object Games | Online Co-op Games | Upcoming Science Fiction Games | Upcoming Platformers
Chaos Emeralds – Sonic Frontiers
Ok, ok, so this one is a bit cheeky since Chaos Emeralds are not exactly new. They’ve been around for decades and Sonic has been known to use them to transform for just as long. That being said, I am going to sneak them on here anyway. Why? Well, Sonic has had his biggest (and arguably BEST) reboot/refresh in Sonic Frontiers.
This was a fresh new take on Sonic, and getting to play around with Super Sonic and not have it locked behind a DLC-coated paywall (looking at Sonic Forces…) was a lot of fun. Zipping, zapping, and zooping about the place was a blast, and punching a hole through Titans was even better. It gets the tenth spot.
Literal God – Pokemon Legends: Arceus
When it comes to Pokemon, we have had quite an interesting year. Firstly, we got on the most refreshing takes on Pokemon ever. One that was so long overdue, several people were handed paper bags to help calm their spirits. The other, well, the other, as fine as it was, backtracked on all of those positive changes.
Of course, we are talking about Pokemon Legends: Arceus. Not only is this an excellent game, but it also has one of the best new weapons – Literal God. Heck, it has several near-godlike beings that you can bend to your will. What do you do with them? You shake trees. It’s amazing, you have no idea. Easy placement.
Belt – Fashion Police Squad
Old-school shooters are making a big comeback, and I, for one, am glad to see them return. Over-the-top violence, eye-melting voxels, and gameplay so tight you might die from asphyxiation. Fashion Police Squad was one of the better new entries to the genre, and funnily enough, it also has one of the best weapons.
The game has all kinds of fashion-correcting gubbins, but the standout is the Belt. Not only can you use this to thwack the fashionably challenged, but you can also use it as a grappling hook. There’s simply no downside to this.
Stun Baton – Callisto Protocol
Callisto Protocol had a bit of a rough start to life. It reviewed fine, but the public reception was a bit more mixed. One thing that managed to stand out amongst all of the humming and harring was the great big club Jacob lugs around for most of the game – the Stun Baton.
The word “stun” is a merely added flair to a weapon that is clearly intended to cave a grown man’s skull in on itself. A solid hunk of metal with a destructive force so great, even the mightiest of enemies will fall to it. Oh, and it’s coursing with electricity for added effect.
Dynamite – Cultic
Grenades are cool. You pull the pin, do something with that trigger thing, and then yeet it as far as you can for a satisfying boom. I have no idea how grenades work in real life as you might have guessed, but I do enjoy a hefty burst of fiery, shrapnel-filled death in my video games. Do you know what’s better than a grenade? Dynamite.
This is where Cultic comes in. Cultic says no to little balls of death, and instead gets an elastic band, ties a bunch of exploding sticks together and asks you to lob them at enemies for fun. Is it fun? Of course, it is, otherwise, it wouldn’t be on this list, would it?
Cat Launcher – Postal Brain Damaged
Rocket Launchers are overrated. Sure the exploding is cool (as we have already covered), but they are everywhere. You can’t get moved because Dorris from down the lane is blocking the way with a trolley filled with RPGs. I just don’t get moved by the sight of them anymore.
Then I played Postal Brain Damaged, and I openly wept at the beauty of one of their late-game weapons – the Cat Launcher. You read that right (twice in fact), the CAT Launcher. You have a gun then launches cats. That’s it. That’s the gun. It’s quite literally perfect.
Dreadnaughts – Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate – Daemon Hunters
One of my favourite games of this past year was Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate – Daemon Hunters. A game almost as great as its name is needlessly long. Everything in this game is satisfying, and every single weapon could likely make this list if the sun shone on them just right. That is until the DLC dropped.
Dreadnaughts are walking sarcophagi housing the near-dead remains of a mortally wounded, psychically attuned superhuman known as an Astartes. Think of an army hand-crafted by God, and infused with the DNA of one of God’s 20 sons. Now, take that whole concept, strap guns onto it and send it into battle against zombies. Need I say more?
Draupnir Spear – God Of War Ragnarok
God Of War never seems to miss when it comes to weapons. The series started with fiery blades attached to chains, and it was awesome. They then gave the dude an axe that froze stuff and returned to your hand like Mjolnir, and that too was awesome. How can you top that? Draupnir, that’s how.
The Draupnir Spear is a spear that is infinitely replicated. You throw it, and it will paradoxically be back in your hand and impaled in your opponent. You can do this forever if you want, and it rocks harder than a stone. If you bop your new stick on the ground, however, all those spears explode. Infinitely replicating exploding spears – genius.
King Bible / Unholy Vespers – Vampire Survivors
Quite possibly my Game Of The Year, Vampire Survivors is chock-full of outstanding weapons that only get better when you combine them with other weapons. Take your cool toy, run up against tens of thousands of enemies (literally) and have a good time. Game is the definition of fun.
The best weapon though? The Bible. You take this hardbacked tome, make it spin around you like a shield, and crush the brains of any enemy who dares venture near you with the power of faith. Upgrade it enough, and it becomes a smidge satanic, but way more powerful. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase: “bible bashing”.
Every Weapon In Darktide – Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
This is no joke. Every single weapon in Darktide is the best weapon of 2022. All of them, all at once. I would have listed 10 of them individually if I was allowed, but alas, I was forced to settle for one entry. They can all fit here, and they can all fit at number one. But why are they so good?
Not going to lie, it’s because they are loud and they are brutal. A lasgun that explodes the heads of zombies? Awesome. Some mad lad who harnesses the power of literal hell to conjure lightning through his hands? Awesome. A great big Ogre running around with a gauntlet that ejects grenades into people’s stomachs? Awesome. A religiously confused zealot packing a sword that doubles as a chainsaw? Yeah, it’s awesome.
That’s all we have on weapons this year, but check back next year for more bombastic boomsticks. In the meantime, check out our other end-of-year lists!
