Top 5 Reasons You’ll Need to Sell a Kidney this Fall

3. Every game will offer more in-game crap for you to waste money on.

DLC has been a long practiced dark art in the world of videogames. Let's be honest, good reader, we really have no one else to blame here but ourselves. The first time DLC happened was when some guy at Bethesda got way too drunk at the company Christmas party, and thought it'd be a gas to sell purely cosmetic armor for a horse. He knew it wouldn't sell. It couldn't possibly sell! Because who the hell would spend actual money on that? Hahaha! Get Jim from Accounting over here, he'll want to see this!

It could have ended right there over that glass off warm eggnog, but some poor fella out in vidyagame land just had to buy it. Thus began the videogames industry's years long DLC orgy that we're currently blindfolded and handcuffed to.

Since then, developers have probably spent more time on developing hats, deathmatch maps, and tacked-on singleplayer maps that really should have been included in the $60 price tag for a new game, than they've spent, you know, developing games.

In the case of my beloved Diablo 3, Blizzard might be testing our love just a bit too much. Several weeks ago, they made public their plans to offer an auction house where any player can buy and sell in-game items from any other player. While this is awesome because it circumnavigates the black market for paid item trades in Diablo 2, it still sucks shit because you and I both know I am going to take out a second mortgage on my house when the opening bell rings in Sanctuary. That, or I'll become an item baron, richer than the seven richest Kings in Asia!

But, seriously though – I'll be in the poor house. Please take care of my family.