25 Hilarious Pokedex Entries That Make Us Shout WHAT

The Pokedex is one of the most important tools for every Pokemon Trainer. Each Pokemon also has a small description, giving you a peak into the deeper lore of the Pokemon universe — and some of these Pokedex entries are incredibly bizarre. Certain Pokemon entries are inappropriately spooky. Often the science is just completely insane. Look deep enough, and these descriptions can be off-the-wall weird for a game that’s ostensibly aimed at young children, so we’re going to share some of our favorites.

Pokedex Entries change every year with new mainline game entries, and they just keep getting weirder. Pokemon Sun And Moon is probably the peak of strangeness. Just check below to see for yourself. Most of our list is comprised of Sun / Moon entries. Was someone over at GameFreak just having fun coming up with the weirdest, most unpleasant stuff possible? Half of these entries can’t possibly be true! They sound like tall tales and ghost stories shared by seven year old kids.

And these are the best ones we’ve found. They’re hilarious, disturbing, disquieting, and may cause you to shout WHAT.

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#1. Metang

It floats midair using magnetism. Its body is so tough, even a crash with a jet plane won’t leave a scratch. [FireRed / Leafgreen]

The claws tipping its arms pack the destructive power to tear through thick iron sheets as if they were silk. It flies at over 60 miles per hour. [Emerald]

As detailed by a future engineering major, if you actually calculate the amount of G-Force energy Metang can sustain, the number lands on 58,597 G’s. A human being can barely survive 9 G’s. Metang is the most indestructible creature in Pokemon. And it has a psychic supercomputer for a brain.

#2. Pangoro

It boasts superb physical strength. Those who wish to become Pangoro’s Trainer have no choice but to converse with their fists. [Sun]

If you want to capture (and train) Pangoro, you have to be tough enough to beat up a giant bear.

#3. Gengar

Should you feel yourself attacked by a sudden chill, it is evidence of an approaching Gengar. There is no escaping it. Give up. [Sun]

This isn’t even the entry about how Gengar must kill children to make more friends. This entry just lets you know; Gengar is out to get you, and there’s nothing you can do but accept an inevitable death.

#4. Lickitung

This Pokémon paralyzes its prey with a lick from its long tongue, then swallows the prey whole. [Shield]

Hey, that cute Pokemon that’s licking you affectionately? It’s actually paralyzing and eating you.

#5. Darumaka

Darumaka’s droppings are hot, so people used to put them in their clothes to keep themselves warm. [X]

People put animal poop in their clothes to stay warm. Understood.

#6. Primeape

It has been known to become so angry that it dies as a result. Its face looks peaceful in death, however. [Sun]

Let’s unpack this. Primeape gets so mad it may spontaneously kill itself (???) — presumably due to a popped blood vessel, or an aneurysm. Primeape is so mad all the time, it may only find peace in death.

#7. Ponyta

Capable of jumping over the Eiffel Tower in a single giant leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamonds. [Stadium]

Ponyta looks just like a regular pony! It isn’t even that fast or strong. This thing can’t even carry a person, but it can leap over the Eiffel Tower. And why so specific with a real-world location?!

#8. Seaking

Trainers who are crazy for Seaking are divided into horn enthusiasts and fin enthusiasts. The two groups do not get along well. [Moon]

This one has nothing to do with Seaking, and everything to do with Seaking’s hitherto unseen fanbase. Who knew Seaking fandom was so cutthroat? It’s just an ugly little fish! And who in this world or the next loves fins over horns? Get out of here with that nonsense, Pokemon.

#9. Regice

Regice’s body was made during an ice age. The deep-frozen body can’t be melted, even by fire. This Pokémon controls frigid air of minus 328 degrees F. [Ruby]

To put this into perspective, the coldest natural temperature every recorded was -128.6 degrees F in Russia. Absolute Zero, the state in which all matter stops completely is -459.67 degrees F. Basically, Regice is a walking murder machine. Anything within its vicinity would die of frostbite within seconds.

#10. Exploud

Its howls can be heard over six miles away. It emits all sorts of noises from the ports on its body. [Diamond / Pearl]

A gunshot is about 150 decibels, and can be heard from about a mile away. So, we can safely assume Exploud’s howl is at least 900 decibels — sounds at about 240 decibels can rattle human organs so hard it can cause internal bleeding. You’d go deaf instantly, and probably get utterly pulverized by the sound alone.

#11. Gyarados

Rarely seen in the wild. Huge and vicious, it is capable of destroying entire cities in a rage. [Red / Blue]

Gyarados can destroy entire cities! Sure, that’s ridiculous — but the more ridiculous assertion is that this Pokemon is rare. In the original games, it appears in almost every route! Rare my butt. So this relatively common Pokemon is capable of destroying entire cities. And often you’ll find them IN cities.

#12. Magcargo

Magcargo’s body temperature is approximately 18,000 degrees F. Water is vaporized on contact. If this Pokémon is caught in the rain, the raindrops instantly turn into steam, cloaking the area in a thick fog. [Alpha Sapphire]

Magcargo’s body is nine times hotter than lava (2,000~ degrees F). Magcargo’s body is twice as hot as the surface of the Sun (10,000~ degrees F).

#13. Drampa

If a child it has made friends with is bullied, Drampa will find the bully’s house and burn it to the ground. [Ultra Sun]

Just for context, Drampa is the “Placid Pokemon.” All the other Pokedex entries for Drampa emphasize its nurturing nature. This entry turns caring into psychopathically protective.

#14. Spoink

Spoink bounces around on its tail. The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump. As a result, this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing – if it stops, its heart will stop. [Ruby]

Spoink, the pig / spring hybrid, lives in constant fear of stillness. Does Spoink also have to keep bouncing when its stuck in a Pokeball? Hugs are fatal for this adorable Pokemon.

#15. Alakazam

It is said to have an IQ of approximately 5,000. Its overflowing psychokinetic powers cause headaches to anyone nearby. [Sun]

Imagine having an IQ of 5000, and you still have to take orders from a small child that easily caught you while you were wandering around naked in the forest.

#16. Yamask

Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry. [Black]

These Pokémon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves in past ages. Each retains memories of its former life. [White]

Yamask is a ghost carrying around a ceramic mask of its previously human face. The fact that ghosts in Pokemon are literal monsters formed from a human’s spirit after death is wild enough, but these extra details just continue to floor me.

#17. Drifloon

Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children. [Sun]

This one even has a built-in punchline. Whoever wrote the entries for Sun / Moon really went wild.

#18. Swablu

For some reason, it likes to land on people’s heads softly and act like it’s a hat. [X]

What else is there to say? There are Pokemon that actually look like hats. There’s a Pokemon that’s just a flower lei. Swablu doesn’t look anything like a hat, but it loves landing on people’s heads and acting like one. That’s so bizarre and funny, I can’t add anything else to it. Bravo, GameFreak.

#19. Registeel

Registeel has a body that is harder than any kind of metal. Its body is apparently hollow. No one has any idea what this Pokemon eats. [Omega Ruby]

Sure, Registeel is apparently harder than any metal and is completely hollow, but we don’t really need to study that. The real question is, what does Registeel eat? Does Registeel have a mouth? I don’t know why, but I never really thought about these weird artifact Pokemon eating. They’re like golems, not animals! Now I have no idea. Maybe they eat metal bolts?

#20. Cubone

When it thinks of its deceased mother, it weeps loudly. Mandibuzz that hear its cries will attack it from the air. [Sun]

There’s a lot wrong here. Look, Cubone is already wearing the skull of its family. That’s already weird. Now it cries when it thinks about its dead mother — also a weird thing in a happy game like Pokemon. Usually I’m not thinking about dead moms. And now I’m ALSO forced to contend with the fact that Cubone’s sadness is exploited by Mandibuzz! Look, Pokemon, this is too much of nature’s cruelty condensed into two sentences.

#21. Mega Tyranitar

Due to the colossal power poured into it, this Pokémon’s back split right open. Its destructive instincts are the only thing keeping it moving. [Ultra Sun]

Mega Forms in Sun / Moon get some incredibly dark descriptions. If this Pokedex Entry is to be believed, Tyranitar is basically dead and only animated by the destructive power of the Mega transformation coursing through its veins. This isn’t even the most painful Mega description! I always thought they just… y’know… changed? I never really thought they were being ripped apart in a colossal display of body horror.

#22. Slowbro

It spaces out while gazing at the sea. With Shellder’s poison flowing through its body, it becomes even spacier. [Sun]

Slowbro is slow and spacey because an malevolent parasite is constantly poisoning it.

#23. Kadabra

A theory exists that this Pokemon was a young boy who couldn’t control his psychic powers and ended up transformed into this Pokemon. [Sun]

We’ve already established that ghost Pokemon are literally dead humans. But who would’ve guessed psychic humans can also transform into Pokemon? Not me!

#24. Mega Salamence

Mega Evolution fuels its brutality, and it may even turn on the Trainer who raised it. It’s been dubbed “the blood-soaked crescent.” [Moon]

Salamence is filled with so much bloodlust, it might even eat YOU. That’s pretty funny, but “the blood-soaked crescent” is even funnier. When have we ever seen a drop of blood in Pokemon? Maybe once in the Anime to show things are really serious. That nickname is perfect fodder for a kid training in the sword while we’re all partying.

#25. Mega Aerodactyl

Part of its body has become stone. Some scholars claim that this is Aerodactyl’s true appearance. [Sun]

When it Mega Evolves, it becomes more vicious than ever before. Some say that’s because its excess of power is causing it pain. [Moon]

If these two Pokedex entries are to be believed, Aerodactyl’s true form is Mega Aerodactyl, and its true form generates an excess of power that causes it constant pain. So Aerodactyl, naturally, lives in endless agony from bird once it reaches it normal Mega Aerodactyl form. No wonder this Pokemon is so unusually vicious.

That’s only 25 out of 898 Pokemon. Let us know your favorite absolutely absurd Pokedex entries. They’ll never be not funny.