Allow me to get one thing out of the way before I say anything else about Mass Effect 3‘s Citadel DLC: it doesn’t fit very well within the context of the larger game. As a story, it doesn’t seem to fit in the series at all. It’s about a plot to take down Shepard by somebody who isn’t Cerberus or the Reapers, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with the war.
But that’s OK.
Citadel, when properly digested as a Mass Effect side tale, can be seen as one of the high points of the whole franchise. It is utterly hilarious, for one. Really, it almost feels like a comedy routine, my roommate, Ross Lincoln of Game Front and Deadline, told me it feels as if it’s Mass Effect written by Shane Black, and that seems like an apt observation.
As you go through this story, you’ll hear your friends you’ve made over the course of the series — and a ton of them make appearances here, including Wrex for whatever reason — spout one liner after one liner. And your enemies say amusing things, as well. During one battle, if Garrus survived Mass Effect 2, your opponents will make the realization that they’re fighting Archangel. “How are we supposed to take him down?” “You’re not!” Garrus yells back as he takes out the questioner.
One section of the game has Liara’s VI assistant Glyph dart around the map helping you out, and the things coming out of his, er, mouth, are unbelievable. At one point he tries to convince these mercenaries to join the Alliance by explaining all the benefits Alliance soldiers get, and at another he will them they have a life expectancy of about fifteen seconds before counting down.
At one particularly hopeless point, Shepard and one of her squad mates will not try to figure out how to survive but instead ruminate on all the different ways Shepard ends a conversation, in a very awesome moment of self-awareness by the writers.
But the star turns aren’t just limited to Shepard and her two squad mates. During a couple sections you get to fight alongside all your allies, and these sequences feel like the kind of thing that should have happened at the climax of the vanilla game as you make your way through London. There’s never been a part of the Mass Effect franchise that feels quite as epic as when you and ten of your digital friends are fighting through waves of bad guys together.
Adding to the mayhem is a new character, Brooks, who is a desk jockey who for whatever reason comes with you for most of this adventure. She’s woefully out of her element, and she manages to provide some of the best comic lines, such as when she says she’s about to go throw up after a particularly heated tilt.
As you go through the story, you might feel a little bit sad that only ten or so of your allies get to fight with you, but there are even more who appear at various points. Traynor and her mass effect field toothbrush also have an important role, and most everybody you know gets to hang out with you at the end when you throw a big party in your new swanky apartment.
And what a party it was. I encouraged my guests to get drunk and rowdy, and that resulted in Jack dancing on the poker table, Grunt passed out in the shower, Liara tossing Vega around with her biotic powers and Kasumi going through Shepard’s underwear, among many, many other things. It was definitely one to remember.
No, Citadel does not contain much in the way of meaningful dialogue or choices. That’s a shame, but I’ve come to grips by now that this series isn’t as interactive as I’d always hoped it would be. By this point, I can’t judge this content by what I would want it to be, but rather what it is. And what it is is truly glorious.
Citadel is best consumed, I feel, after you’ve played through the ending of the main game. This tale I see as a sort of fever dream epilogue, bringing most of your friends together for one last hurrah in lieu of hitting up that bar in South America with Garrus. As the true ending of Shepard’s Mass Effect saga, I could not ask for a better experience.
Final Verdict
10 out of 10
