I’m Vegan And I’m Not Sure How I Feel About Far Cry 3

One month from today marks my official year anniversary of going vegan. I know. I KNOW. I know this is supposed to be a post about games so why the hell am I talking about this boring food crap? Because I do what I want and also because I am going to talk about Far Cry 3 but you need to calm down and listen to my boring food crap first.

I’ve basically been super interested in healthy foods my entire adult life and that interest has evolved and devolved based on science factors like my age, my emotional status, my married status, my drinking status, and my lazy status but all that changed when I moved in with my boyfriend who is like… super vegan. I mean we can eat honey (he doesn’t care about bees I guess—bees can fuck themselves) but in terms of everything else we are totally “omg I miss baby bel cheese and yogurt so bad” vegan. And while he is mostly in it for the health benefits we both share a love of not enslaving or murdering animals for our own selfish brunch reasons (except the bees who as I mentioned can go fuck themselves). So the fact that killing animals and skinning them to make loot sacks and wallets is a major component of Far Cry 3 is problematic to say the least.

But I do it. I have tried to avoid doing it even though my lack of loot sack room and gun holsters made the burning of weed fields almost impossible and I swear to god if I have to hear that Skrillex song one more time I will cut.a.bee. So I do it. I killed a tiger and it made me sad and I killed a komodo dragon and it…it did not make me sad but whatever. Humans are complex beings and also lizards are cold blooded and they have no bonding mechanism and they are not kittens are they? 

I shotgunned all the dogs like I was supposed to and I have killed oxen and goats and I even killed a chicken. In fact, my blood lust was so high I actually shouted at the tv “EAT IT CHICKEN” and looked up through the haze to see my boyfriend standing there staring at me with a look of fear, admiration and pity in his eyes. Then he said, “You know you don’t get anything from the chickens right? This isn’t Minecraft. You can’t make an ammo belt out of a chicken.”

So I don’t know. I expected to be annoyed by the douchey tribal tattoo’d Jason and I expected to be pissed off about the man rape and I expected to be outraged by the racist overtones but I did not expect to have a visceral, emotional reaction to CRAFTING. But I did. I’m still going to play the game and kill all the animals and stuff but I imagine it will leave me feeling kind of gross like when I laugh at Family Guy jokes about… anything.