#1 Naked Snake / Big Boss (Metal Gear Solid)
While Solid Snake has his own appeal (see: that butt,) there’s something that makes Big Boss a little more… tasty. Maybe it’s the eye patch, maybe it’s how ruggedly masculine and charming he is, maybe it has to do with that cold exterior begging to be loved, or maybe it’s got something to do with the obscene amount of time he can go without a shirt in the jungle. Either way, we’d be more than happy to show him a real Snake Eater.
(I’m so sorry.)