Top 5 Reasons You’ll Need to Sell a Kidney this Fall

1. You ain't ever buying this game used.

You say you can't afford $60 for a new game months before you know if it's shit or not? Well, allow we, the videogames industry, to give you the biggest middle-finger we possibly can. Then, let us hold you down and slowly hang our spit over your face, then suck it back up right before it lands on your nose, because you're never buying this game used, either! That is, unless you pay $10 for exactly no reason.

Sony, the company that had the balls to charge $600 for a game console in 2006, and had no idea why people weren't using Playstation 3s to line their gardens, is now charging $10 extra on all first-party titles bought used. Well, it's technically optional. That is, if you don't mind not having access to things like multiplayer. No one plays multiplayer anymore, right? Right. No problem here whatsoever.

Except that other companies are following suit with their own ridiculous schemes, which probably came straight from the machinations of a rejected villain during the latter days of the Pierce Brosnan James Bond era. Much like a really terrible line from those movies, when you're a business charging and re-charging for the exact same thing, Christmas also comes more than once a year.

For instance, EA, of all companies, had one of the milder schemes in that you would get bonus maps and content for buying the latest Medal of Honor game new, which technically wasn't outright contempt for the unwashed used game buyer, but then they heard that Sony was one-upping them in the race to the bottom, and are now locking used game buyers out of multiplayer as well.

I get that companies need to feed their families too, but do they really need to gold-plate their slip'n slides in front of their platinum mansions? I mean, I settled for silver, fertile reader, and I've got all this internet money flying my way so fast, it's practically busting my beautiful face open.