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Diablo 3: Trolls Gonna Troll, and the Issues That Remain With 1.03

June 20, 2012 by Ian Miles Cheong

Creativity reigns in the Diablo 3 community with this great troll post.

Diablo 3 Barbarian

To say that some Diablo 3 fans are trolls would be an understatement. 

As a testament to trolling and as a way of expressing his distaste for the latest Diablo 3 1.03 patch, a user going by the name of Furiant has written a rather sarcastic "thank you" note to the developers at Blizzard and put together a list of "important issues" that the company still needs to address.

Among these issues are the ability for players to survive and play the game as it was intended. 

Read it and weep:

  • DPS is still way out of control – in some cases I've even seen players kill certain monsters before they were killed themselves
  • People are still taking advantage of skills with unintended effects such as increased survival, damage output, and situation control
  • There are several chests that continue to drop gold when opened; there are also still other, more nefarious means of gold farming, such as killing enough monsters that you actually MAKE more gold than your repairs cost
  • I personally witnessed an incident where a player found a yellow item, and when they identified it, it had stats that could be exploited to increase their combat effectiveness – for the class they were playing at the time.
  • Some gear seen on vendors still had stats other than Vitality that could, in the hands of an insidious agent, theoretically be employed toward the end of making combat easier (less dying, and in extreme cases, more killing)
  • Bosses are still able to be killed by players – I don't have screenshots to prove this, but it is happening. Hopefully your data analysis can pick it up.
  • Some bosses and rares are failing to properly spam stun, wall, poison, set afire, teleport into pools of acid, knockback, slow, and freeze players simultaneously while they teleport-kite the player at supersonic speed, carpeting every square inch of the zone with toxic ooze and letting their invulnerable minions with boss powers one- and two-shot us.
  • I personally was able to set up a bizarre configuration in the auction house search panel where I could find items with specific stats and also be able to sort them in a way that was not effectively random.
  • A friend of mine told me they were playing with some person earlier who – and I'm just the messenger here – seemed like they might be having fun while playing the game. I don't know how true this is, but if it's even a possibility, god help us all.

He concludes the post by saying he's just doing his part to ensure that the game's playability and sense of progression are "stamped out as soon as possible." 

For what it's worth, the new patch isn't all bad. It's mostly good—unless you're a Demon Hunter. 

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