Everyone knows hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Especially if you don’t want your videogames ending up on an eBay auction.
When Australian eBay user teacup_tempest became fed up with her boyfriend’s antics, she dumped him and opened a listing for his precious copy of L.A Noire. But the story, as teacup_tempest explained in her listing, turned out more complicated than simple post-breakup retribution.
“He recently decided he would rather die alone than commit to anyone who wasn't tanned orange or permanently drunk and I agreed it was probably for the best so I removed him from my residence and my life,” she wrote in the item description.
“He broke up with me after dinner, which I paid 90 bucks for, and I made him leave the next day — all his shit was on the verandah waiting for him when he got home from work,” teacup_tempest explained in an email to Gameranx. “I was pretty pissed off that he lied to me about wanting the same things I did — he said he wanted me but didn’t share the same desires for the future and didn't want to break up because he was comfortable despite that.”
“[My ex] has not been honourably discharged from the Marines nor is he a disgraced cop,” she said, making a comparison to Cole Phelps. “Though I would hesitate to rescue him from a storm water drain. I suppose he isn’t that bad so I wouldn't let him drown. If he agrees to autograph the game for the lucky winning bidder I will stop calling his new love interest a constantly drunk idiot and instead look at all the virtues of someone who tans themself bright orange. Maybe she's good at making chocolate?”
The listing isn’t all doom and gloom, though. Teacup_tempest will be giving all proceeds of the auction to Pets Haven, a no-kill animal shelter in Victoria.
Well, there’s still some doom and gloom. “I set fire to his car rego sticker and put the burnt remnants in an envelope because I knew he was coming around to collect it in the near future.”
By giving the proceeds to charity, Teacup hopes she might cancel out the bad karma.
You can check out the auction (complete with pictures) and even place a bid to help out a good cause here.
