The highly dignified gentlemen at Volition and THQ have announced that over two million people have been beaten to death by giant purple dildos in Saints Row The Third.
In the highly important study, it was found that over 5.8 billion Steelport citizens have been exterminated by gamers all around the world. It’s a really important and serious study, guys, they even had clipboards.
It’s also been found that when added up, the accumulated time players have spent without any clothes is a grand total of two years. Roughly 44 million gimps, pimps and ‘scarlet women’ have been deployed, which is roughly twice the population of Texas. 650 valiant and brave hot dog mascots have also been burned alive by players using flamethrowers – and rightfully so. They deserve it. Look at them, so smug.
To celebrate this display of sheer disregard for human life and the laws of man, new community tracking features have been launched on the Saints Row website. It includes a map of Steelport, which updates with your evil deeds in real time.
I have no idea how this game avoided being banned in Australia.
[Source: Videogamer.com]
