Divekick Gets 4 New Characters

Over on the PlayStation blog, Adam “Keits” Heart has announced four new characters for his upcoming parody fighting game Divekick. As we've come to expect, the characters are pretty wacky. They're called The Baz, Markman, Stream, and Codename: S-Kill, and here's a brief description for each in case you can't be bothered to read the whole thing on the blog:

The Baz is a middle-aged guy (born in 1965, apparently) who likes to wear leather and things with spikes on them. This is potentially why he has been rejected from “almost every fighting league on the planet”, because he “looks too lame”. The Divekicking league is his last resort, because they have lower standards than everyone else.

Markman is the inventor of the Kickbox, a device that allows the holder to better control his or her kicks. He plans to use the competition for marketing purposes rather than to win, in an effort to convince people to buy the product.

Stream is an orange creature with horns, wings, and a tail, who looks like he's wearing a strait jacket. Presumably he's some kind of demon, which is why his health is 666 and his power is 666,666. But from the description he sounds like nothing more than your average Internet troll: he's “trapped behind the keyboard”, and “feeds only negativity back in”, with a consciousness that is “an endless flood of sexism, racism, and hate”. His motivation for divekicking is “to finally troll in person”.

Finally, Codename: S-Kill is a baddy, the head of an evil organisation that wants to “rebalance” the world so that it can package it up and sell it. He's trying to rebalance divekicking because his lackeys failed.