Look, I love shooting dudes. I always have. I always will. But I'm tired of playing make-believe soldier. Shooters, I admit that you looked great at E3 this year. Hell, with Battlefield 3, you looked more beautiful that I have ever seen. But, it's not you, it's me. I need some space. I want to explore my options. But I can't do that when you're smothering me every chance you get with your unlocks, scripted events, and rocket launchers. And really, you've been inserting yourself into everything I've played lately. I'm almost positive you didn't need to be in LA Noire, but there you were. When you involved yourself in the games I liked, it was fun at first, but now you've become overbearing.
I won't lie to you. We've had some great times together. We both know that. Remember all those late nights cuddled next to a red-hot SAW barrel? Remember parachuting off an exploding Titan together? Oh, and all those lovely, lovely rocket jumps? I'll never forget the good years – and we've had a lot of ups together.
But we've also had our share of downs. Look, I'm sorry I broke a controller that one time. And I'm really sorry that I posted on all those forums complaining about balance. It wasn't your fault that I'm no good at sniping. It's mine. I just get so worked up sometimes when some camping asshole is ruining my K:D ratio, and I try to take him out but I just can't do it – and fuck! That shitbag is back – sorry. You know how worked up I get sometimes.
The truth is, shooters, I've been thinking about getting away lately – just seeing what else is out there. You know that I really love you deep down, and I want to grow old with you. But, I'm just not sure. You know what I mean? It's true that you've been overbearing lately – but I know that's because things have been stressful for you. There's a lot of competition at work, and you've been really busy with all your new customers. I don't want to stand in your way.
So, shooters, if it's OK with you, can we take some time off? You don't necessarily have to stop what you're working on for me. I don't expect you to put your life on hold while I sort myself out. Just, you know, give me some breathing room. It'd give us a chance to maybe see other games – just sort of stretch out and explore both our options. Maybe there's a really great innovation waiting for you somewhere at a coffee shop, or a grocery store, and if you find something you're happy with, I want you to pursue it. You never know, shooters, maybe you'll find something that you like more than RPG elements.
It could be like the time you found active cover. Remember that? So much fun!
But, I think we both know that we haven't been having much fun lately. We've both been phoning it in. You keep coming up with new ideas that are basically just rehashes of the same few things, and I keep feigning excitement because I don't want to hurt your feelings. Really, deep down inside, I think that if I fake enjoying my time with you, maybe I'll actually have some fun! But, that spark just hasn't come back yet.
I'm sorry, shooters. Maybe I'll love you again – I don't know.
All I know is, right now, I need something new.
Love always,
Matt
