Hey, you naughty kid! Drop that box!
Are you sure you're about to play a video game? Read that box more carefully—it's just as likely you've gotten into grandmother's pills again!
Below, we've catalogued forty-two names of things. Some are the titles of games; some, however, are the trademarked names of blockbuster pharmaceuticals! Can you tell which is which? Are you sure?
1. Ellence
2. Elebits
3. Eledees
4. Klonopin
5. Klonoa
6. Celexa
7. Ehrgeiz
8. Sananara
9. Shannara
10. Hydlide
11. Lufia
12. Lyrica
13. Crestor
14. Lipitor
15. Ristar
16. Stratovox
17. Synthroid
18. Xardion
19. Xargon
20. Genetos
21. Geodon
22. Chelnov
23. Chulip
24. Chantix
25. DDRMAX
26. Digimon
27. Cyklokapron
28. Electroplankton
29. Celebrex
30. Albion
31. Alundra
32. Dunamis 15
33. Dissidia
34. Diflucan
35. Bextra
36. Robitussin
37. Codeine
38. Suikoden
39. Xalatan
40. Xenosaga
41. Enzyte
42. Growlanser
Answer Key
1-3. Ellence is not an ethereal space shooter; it's a drug used in chemotherapy. Elebits, however, received fairly decent scores on the Nintendo Wii. In the UK, the game is called Eledees.
4-6. Klonopin is a benzo used to treat panic, anxiety, and seizures. Klonoa is some type of Furry imagineered by Namco. Celexa is an SSRI antidepressant.
7. Ehrgeiz is a fighting game.
8-12. Sananara and Shannara were released to PC in 2005 and 1995, respectively. They are totally unrelated. Hydlide and Lufia are games. Lyrica is not.
13-15. Mandy Patinkin—Inigo Montoya himself!—shilled for Crestor, a drug used to treat high cholesterol. Lipitor is a similar prescription medication. Ristar is a 2-D platformer.
16-17. Stratovox is, famously, the first arcade game to show off voice synthesis. Synthroid is not a synesthetic racing game; rather, it is used to treat hypothyroidism.
18-21. Xardion, Xargon, and Genetos are all games. Geodon may sound like a Spectrobe, but it's used to treat schizophrenia.
22-24. Chelnov and Chulip are games. Chantix is great for quitting smoking, but you should not take Chantix if you have a history of depression or other mental health problems. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking Chantix and call your doctor right away.
25. DDRMAX is a game.
26. Digimon is, obviously, a game.
27-28. Cyklokapron is used to treat hemophilia or other types of major bleeding. Electroplankton is a game for the Nintendo DS. However, some people forego fish oil pills for phytoplankton or krill oil; I used to gallantly give my dad his pills every morning with the announcement "Here! Take a krill pill!"
29-31. Celebrex is a drug. Albion is a DOS game and a pretty old word for the island we usually call Great Britain. Alundra is a game.
32-34. Dunamis 15 is a relatively recent title for Xbox, PlayStation 3, and PSP. Dissidia is a game; I tend to get the title confused with Disgaea, personally. Diflucan is an oral antifungal.
35. Bextra ought to be a fast-paced puzzle game; instead it was an anti-inflammatory used to treat rheumatoid arthritis and menstrual cramps. (It has since been withdrawn from the market, so the title might be available, developers!)
36-38. Robitussin can treat anything. It's available over the counter, which is to say, you'll have much better luck getting high on prescription Codeine. Suikoden is a series of RPGs.
39-40. Xalatan is used to treat glaucoma. Xenosaga is a popular game franchise.
41-42. Enzyte advertises "natural male enhancement." Growlanser does not.
Image credit: Pac Man Pills by ackbad on DeviantArt.
